Did he know me? Yes. More than anyone. He knew the storms in my eyes and the trying too hard smile. He knew when the tears were welling up in my eyes that I was trying to hide, and the pain behind my smile. He knew the looks from my hazel green eyes. The look when I was nervous or anxious about something. The look of a dirty joke or sarcastic humor in rebuttal to what he just said. The look I gave when I was goading and riling him sensually, erotically, that I only know how to do.
The look of me wanting him to take me over and over. With his lips pressed against mine as one hand was on my neck and the other with a fistful of my long hair. That glaring daring look as I stared up at him as he did. He knew my flirtatious look with a side little grin I gave him that made him sit back in his chair in awe as he's sitting next to me at dinner. He knew my far away stare when I was in deep thought or something was bothering me. Concentrating on patterns on drapes and rugs, or the sky outside the window.
He knew when I was quiet-something was really bothering me. And some of those times he knew I was quiet because I never liked confrontation. But he urged me to talk about it to be open and honest as we always are. He knew when I was teasing, talkative, and joking with him- I was having a good day. But when little things got to me and I was being short, and not as talkative...a storm was brewing inside me ready to turn into a maelstrom. That he only knew how to calm by the way.
He knew it all. He learned me. And learned me well like no other. He loved all of me. My happiness, my pain, my scars and traumas, my comical side, my inner child, my light and thinking positive, my sadness and grief, my darkness and erotic cravings & sensuality, my empathy and understanding, my strengths and my weaknesses, me feeling everything so very deeply and over-thinking so many things. He loved every part of me. I showed him all of me. I never showed anyone all of me before. But he got it all. I felt safe with him. Protected. Safe not only physically, but emotionally.
That's deep intimacy. Talking. Communicating with words, looks, or a single touch. Learning someone so deeply that you know them as well as they know themselves. Open, raw, and honest together. Fully knowing each other inside and out where you become two souls perfectly fitting together. And I knew he loved me so deeply that it encompassed him. He showed me in many ways. Ever so loving, and some so dark you'd either blush or gasp. And me? I know the real him. The part of himself he doesn't show anyone.
I loved him with every fiber of my being, and I gave him everything I had in me. While wearing that classy yet sensual navy off the shoulder sheath Couture dress he loves so much, in heels and a diamond necklace & bracelet to match, with a toy hidden secretly away where no one can see, as he held the remote.